They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
