Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The air was thick with penises
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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