he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
