That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
