I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
