Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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