All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
