my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize