I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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