You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize