My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
