Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
