Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
