Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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