Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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