so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize