Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
