one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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