Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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