Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
