I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize