A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
