dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I love black thongs
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
