He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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