Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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