Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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