smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize