She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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