Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
