If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My ass is underappreciated
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
