No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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