so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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