As long as you're not dating white guys again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
