Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
