Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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