I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
