yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
