Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
