I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
