I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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