As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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