No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
