I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
