Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
