I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
