This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
