I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
someone owes me an orgasm
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
