i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
