Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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