it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
