I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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