oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
