people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you had me at cake vodka
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
