I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
