So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
