can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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