would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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