The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
